Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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