either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize