so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
