You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize