ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I want her autograph on my taint
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
