I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
