He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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