What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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