It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
