please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
