I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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