I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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