I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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