I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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