i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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