All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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