i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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