Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
