she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
