Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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