just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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