I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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