i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
