Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
