Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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