It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
