just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize