My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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