take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
