I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
