It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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