Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
