Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
