I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
