she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Boobs are out for the taking
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you never un-have a 4some
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
