Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
