I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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