Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
