Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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