Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
