OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
40s are totally the cure
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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