Porn is love you can see.
I puked a lego.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
