If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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