I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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