saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
