it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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