I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
