ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
