And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Come see our sink grown plant.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
