Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Randomize
