You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
