Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
