is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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