So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
