Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize