Did you just see the Batmobile???
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
